Friday, 24 June 2016

Review of beyond lyrical

Beyond lyrical

I was all set to write something again,
A soulful music playing in the background, intensifying emotions,
Evening walking towards a melodious night,
And all I could think of is You.  

I don’t know what to write anymore or how to write,
There are too many emotions bubbling within me,
Words fall short and expressions too limited to contain,
‘Coz ain’t you and I limitless?  

I leave everything aside and close my eyes,
Thinking I’ll sleep it off and you’ll be gone,
But there you are again, looking at me like a dream,
Was it? I question myself…  

Your name running through my head, your eyes into mine
Your hands hold me, and our legs entwined,
My heart smiles, eyes dance and everything brightens,
You are my comfort even when it’s dark.  

It feels like a lot of other things besides love,
I fight myself, argue with my emotions, my feelings,
I think may be life gets in the way, takes you away,
At the same time, I never want you to be gone.  

And I look up my screen, there it is, I can see my words weaved,
Finding its way to you like it knows what to write,
As if it knew all along, what calms me, what makes me believe,
And it tells me that you and I are beyond lyrical.


Review

A difficult one to understand. Maybe the poetess is having so ideas. The heroine just can’t forget her lover. The music reminds her of him and evening is turning into night. Is it the night of their relationship too? What she wants is not clear. She wants him to be with him desperately. But somehow she feels it is not possible. It maybe because of the nature of relationship. It is not acceptable in society on account of caste, religion or extra marital. But to both of them it is the ultimate thing. They know deep down it is pure but afraid of society or family.
It is very deep and abstract. It is clear only to poetess what she is thinking. But it is very good. The way words are played and juxtaposed is brilliant. One of the complex ones from Indrani.

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Review of Mysteries WIthin

This poem makes you think. What is the purpose of life? We come into world, study, grow up, work and family and finally death. We have so many life experiences along the way. We cheat, lie and steal and other do the same to us. We are in a constant state of flux. Because of all this turmoil there is insecurity and stress.
Sometimes we feel to run away to Himalayas away from all this cacophony. But there is no peace even there because the turmoil is within us and not without. You can’t run away from yourself. One can lie to whole world but never to himself. And there is something within us, call it soul, Atma, conscience or anything which always tell us what is right and what is wrong. We can suffocate its voice but can never kill it. We chose to ignore and over the years it becomes so faint and low we can’t hear it.
Amid all this chaos sometime we hear it unexpectedly and wonder what the purpose of this torturous existence is? It leads to angst, existential crisis or mid life crisis. One has the Angst from the realization of one's true freedom. It is like standing on the edge of a cliff. Someone with anxiety may fear falling off, but someone with Existential Angst, however not only fears falling off but dreads the possibility of throwing themselves off in a sense that "nothing is holding them back".
So should we jump and end the pain or should we do something positive.
Swami Vivekananda said “Education is The Manifestation of The Perfection Already in Man”.
So as poetess very cogently pointed out in the last three stanza, we should strive to achieve the unseen, unheard, unborn, omnipresent and omniscient. It is the true purpose of life and the answer is not without but within us.
Ohhhhh. It is just a guess work and you may want to strangle me for misinterpretation. Very difficult to find out what u mean without any information about you, or your muses, inspirations, influences and how are you in general. Anyway it is how I interpret it and once it is out in open you have no control how your audience interpret it. Hope you like it.

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Review of The speechless me

Tried writing a review of poem of a very talentd poetess Indrani Samajpati titled "The speechless me".
The poetess described true love as opposed to the Bollywood love we see in movies. This is how the love should be and as rightly pointed out by her it is not in material things or physical intimacy.
It starts with conversations and slowly graduates to the state where you understand and enjoy the silences of each other. Love is in between the dialogues and in pauses. It slowly builds up and before you know you are head over heels in love.
Ture love is neither in material things nor physical intimacy. She touches your heart and make you feel like you never felt before. The true lover accepts you as you are with all your fears, shortcomings and imperfections. She makes you rise in love, not fall in love. True love is where you both become a better person. She touches your heart and soul and you become one. She is the one person with whom you forget all your worldly problems and is transported to another world albeit for a instant. But that second is more than a life time.
It is very difficult to review poetry because it is a very different medium than prose. It is more abstract and very personal to the poetess. The poetess uses metaphors or similes which are sometimes universally accepted and sometime have very personal connotations. In a way you review poem and the poetess both. You never know where one ends and the other begins.
In the final stanza poetess may have alluded to Osho statement in his most (in)famous book that sexual union can lead you to ultimate state of meditation.
Very difficult to review for an unromantic person like me. But in the end a very touching poem and that’s the way love should be IMHO. Keep writing.

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Suggestions to a poetess

I read your poems and they are very sensitive and beautiful. You asked for reviews and suggestions. I tried review a few and found it very difficult. Here is the sole suggestion.

Your poems talk of utopian love, longing, silences, loneliness, pain, tribulations of an unquiet mind and the journey within. It is said beautifully. In fact this is the origin of poem as told by Shelly and Pant (quoted below):

Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.
---Percy Bysshe Shelley (Husband of Mary Shelly of Frankenstein fame)

वियोगी होगा पहला कवि, आह से निकला होगा गान।

उमड़ कर आंखों से चुपचाप, बही होगी कविता अजान॥

To be a poet you must have experienced pain. If I put it in engineering lingo, having experienced extreme emotional pain and having a compassionate, sensitive heart is necessary if not the sufficient condition of being a poetess.

हैं सबसे मधुर वो गीत जिन्हें, हम दर्द के सुर में गाते हैं
जब हद से गुज़र जाती है खुशी, आँसू भी छलकते आते हैं

Poem is like tear drop which comes out of your heart and not mind. That’s why it is so different form prose and very difficult to fully understand for others unless the poetess herself explains it. And you need equally intelligent and sensitive audience to be able to understand it, otherwise you will just get cool, awesome, beautiful, poignant, god bless etc type reactions.

One of my favorite poems on pain is ‘Aansoo (teardrop)’ by Prasad:

जो घनीभूत पीड़ा थी
मस्तक में स्मृति-सी छायी
दुर्दिन में आँसू बनकर
जो आज बरसने आयी।
ये मेरे क्रंदन में बजती
क्या वीणा? - जो सुनते हो
धागों से इन आँसू के
निज करुणा-पट बुनते हो।
रो-रोकर, सिसक-सिसककर
कहता मैं करुण-कहानी
तुम सुमन नोचते सुनते
करते जानी अनजानी।
----प्रसाद जी की ‘आँसू’

So you fulfil the necessary condition of being a poetess. But is it sufficient too???

I guess not. Your poem can be safely categorized into Chhayawadi (approximated in English as "Romanticism") or Proygwadi (experimentalism)  camp of Hindi literature. Being a huge fan of Jagjit Singh a listen him a lot and marvel at the imagination and sensitivity of Shayars. But these is something missing. Because all the Ghazals and Nazms just talk of broken heart and alcohol. Similarly these poets of above camp are talking about their own misery, angst, existential crisis, anxiety, apprehension, worry, perturbation, foreboding, trepidation, malaise, distress, mid life crisis etc. they are prisoners of their own mind and their own little problems. Ageya is their leader and they are followers of writers, philosophers like Jean Paul Sartre (Existentialism), Friedrich Nietzsche (God is dead and men is free) etc.

Thankfully your writing is not that depressing. Your writing is about journey within, spirituality and being comfortable in your own skin even if it means being alone. Keep doing that.

But sometimes the cure of unknown pain and longing you feel is not within but without. So expand your creative reach. Write on diverse topics which pains you from without. It is your prerogative to choose topics on what to write. Not everything moves everyone. And unless you feel deeply about something you can not do justice to your poem. But still sometimes it will be nice even for you to step out of your comfort zone and write of things which ails society at a macro level. Being a woman you may write on feminism, female foeticide or being an Indian you can write on Dalit issues or poverty. It will give you more satisfaction as a creative person.

Everyone sees the same thing and then goes on with their lives. The difference between a poetess and an ordinary person like me is that they have the God gift to see what is unseen, hear what is unheard, and feel what is not felt by persons like me because of the gift of sensitive heart and sharp intellect. And secondly they have a gift of gab. They can express themselves eloquently, coherently, beautifully and cogently so that it strikes a chord with the audience. Even if person like me is moved by something close to his heart he can not express it because he does not have a way with words.

I can think of two writers like you. Mannu Bhandari and Dharamveer Bharti. Mannu Bhandari wrote extremely sugary romantic novels. If you saw movie Rajnignadha (Vidya Sinha, Amol Palekar), it is based on her story ‘Yehi sach hai’. But then as a break she wrote a political novel ‘Mahabhoj’ and it is superb. Bharti also was in Proygawadi camp but later on he become disillusioned and wrote “Suraj ka Satvan Ghoda’. It is still a romance but main premise is that “love is conditioned by economic factors”. Read my review here and watch Shyam Benegal Movie too if you already have not. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18759957-sooraj-ka-satvaan-ghoda?ac=1&from_search=true

To quote from the novel "The Love which cannot contribute to social progress and individual development, is not love"...... You made that point in one of your poem also.

So go ahead. Expand your horizons. Write on diverse things. Not always but maybe 1 in 10 or 1 in 20. I think you can do it.

Freedom of expression is nothing without freedom to offend. Use your gift to jolt the conscience of ostrich like mango people who are so ensconced in their selfish, mundane routines that they can’t see anything beyond their offices and homes.

With great power comes great responsibility (spiderman ;)). So use you god gift for greater common good. I don’t say it. Dushyant Kumar says:

हो गई है पीर पर्वत-सी पिघलनी चाहिए
इस हिमालय से कोई गंगा निकलनी चाहिए

आज यह दीवार, परदों की तरह हिलने लगी
शर्त थी लेकिन कि ये बुनियाद हिलनी चाहिए

हर सड़क पर, हर गली में, हर नगर, हर गाँव में
हाथ लहराते हुए हर लाश चलनी चाहिए

सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं
मेरी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए

मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही
हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए
--दुष्यंत कुमार